who invented the word "me-maw"?
in the meantime, i've spent today perfecting the art of the 3-hour card. what is a 3-hour card, you ask? back story: once upon a time (about a year ago) i decided to do something out of my element and make my girlfriend a card. i pulled out all stops to make this thing as mushy as possible... construction paper, glue, hearts, etc. since i have the artistic ability of a toaster, i didn't exactly do a good job, and the thing looked more like a pre-schooler's first attempt at a mother's day card. i hopped in the truck and sped over to pick jen up, and as she opened the door of my truck she got in and sat on the card. what follows is the firsthand account of the presentation of said card. parts have been altered for dramatic effect.
jen: "where's my surprise?"
david: "uh, you're sitting on it."
jen: (pulls card out) "what's this?"
david: "it's your surprise! i made you a card!"
jen: "oh."
david: "you don't like it?"
jen: "ummm... when you said surprise, i didn't think you meant the 'here's-a-card' kind of surprise. i thought you meant the 'we're-going-to-fire-island' kind of surprise. this card sucks, i hate you, and i hope you never get a chance to procreate. here's an idea: why don't you just take a nice little walk into oncoming traffic?"
and that's where my memory gets a bit fuzzy, but anyway, i almost forgot to mention the fact that before i made the card, i told jen and her me-maw that i would be gone for 30 minutes to grab a little something (aka a surprise) from my apartment. i didn't return until 3 hours later. that is where the 3-hour card comes from. when you take a whole buttload of time to make something special for someone, and it flat sucks, but they know you love them anyway, even though they may vehemently agree with you and proclaim aloud that, yes indeed, your gift is the suckiest suck that ever did suck. that, my friends, is a 3-hour card. btw, jen wasn't quite that disgusted, but close. j/k
so i spent the better part of this morning making a 3-hour card for jen's me-maw. it's really cheesy, and looks like a 1st grade art project, but it's random and funny nonetheless.
my dog just farted. i have to clear out. it's heinous.
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