what tomorrow will bring i do not know
the thrills:
moving to atlanta
shackin' up with jon owen
possibly starting law school at georgia state (i'm praying hard, fingers crossed).
the scary part:
not having a job set up yet. i think about this every morning when i wake up. it seriously threatens to freak me out. no job = no $$$, which means serious stress. i have to pray a lot that God takes the worry away from me. for real, if i didn't have the Lord taking care of me i'd be some schizo bum on the street.
you'd think i would have it down by now. God has taken care of me and directed my paths in so many things since i've trusted Him, and though some decisions were painful and some were wonderful i know He's had His eye on me and His hand around me. every time i fell on hard times or worries the Lord has guided me and never failed. why should i doubt Him now?
i like control. my room is straightened just so. the kitchen cleaned just so. the dishwasher loaded just so. the books in my bookbag arranged just so. the hours i work just so. 8 hours of sleep just so. i have my lifestyle down to a pattern and steady schedule in just so many ways, and i love it that way. it is predictable. it is habitual. it is comforting. am i taking more comfort in my control than in the adventure that God has planned for me? sadly, that may be so right now. i hope i am changing.
tonight at work i had an interesting experience. a woman came up and asked where the black books were. i thought she meant day planners, so i said we didn't carry any planners yet. she specified that she had meant african american fiction, upon which i told her that they were mixed in with all of the other books. she looked at me like i was an idiot and asked why they would be mixed in, and i said, "ma'am, we don't segregate our literature." it's funny when you think about it- when it comes to literature, every page is the same color. i thought that was a cool thought. i mean, why should alexandre dumas have his books set aside from descartes? why should martin luther king, jr. have his books kept separate from martin luther's? it makes no sense. not that this woman was looking for deep reading anyway (she ended up buying an erotica book -frowns-).
check it out - 01.20.07
vapor - 11.15.06
can't complain - 11.10.06
turn the page - 11.09.06
who invented the word "me-maw"? - 09.28.06