Jesus died for this sort of thing
my boss is awesome: i now have sundays off, which means i can help jen with starting a life group focused on transitioning young people caught between college and that awkwardness of the professional cohort. we'll be listening to a streamed message from 722, worshipping, and discussing together what God seems to be up to these days. time to dust the guitar off...
in another intense attempt to psychoanalyze myself, i've come across some things that worry me. see, for the last long while, i have off-and-on prayed that God would do that whole "point out every wicked way in me that doesn't reflect Him" thing. well, He's doing it again and i seem to have realized that there is this disgust i have with certain people. there are just folks in this world who, though i don't even personally know them that well, spark extreme anger in me. to boil it down:
i hate (as in sinfully hate) people who get what they want without working hard for it.
i hate (as in sinfully hate) people who skate by in life by riding their parents' coattails.
i hate (as in sinfully hate) people who seem to manipulate others and their feelings to get things.
i hate (as in sinfully hate) people who are apathetic about things like a good education, self-improvement, and earning their way.
right now i'm just trying to figure out what the source of this spite is in my life. i can trace it back some ways, but i don't really know its origins. i know that at times i've even wished i could get by easy like some people i see every day. is this jealousy that has been twisted to self-righteousness? i don't know.
proof:
1. i don't get my way as easily as person a.
2. dad taught me to work hard for what i get.
3. people who don't work as hard as i do are lazy.
4. hard work beats out laziness any day.
conclusion: therefore, i am the better and superior man for having to work my butt off.
i know it's a little loose, but get my logic? anyway, i just have one more thing to surrender to the Lord. i know He has power to pull me out of it, and i sure don't want to get married and raise a family with such hate inside me. i might one day grow to despise my kids!
"you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'you shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' but I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, 'raca,' is answerable to the sanhedrin. and anyone who says, 'you fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell."
-matthew 5:21-22
Father God, please have mercy on me for being a hateful murderer.
check it out - 01.20.07
vapor - 11.15.06
can't complain - 11.10.06
turn the page - 11.09.06
who invented the word "me-maw"? - 09.28.06