my own little festivus
31 May 2005

back! i am back from the best birthday celebration ever. i had a beautiful time on panama city beach for the extended weekend, and i am so glad my birthday always happens to fall around memorial day. jen and i stayed at a beach house with her grandparents for a few days, and while we were there we got to take in a lot of sun (a little too much, hehe, ouch my feet!) and relax too. got to see my aunt joanne and unce donald, who treated us to a nice lunch at red lobster. they are always too nice, if such a thing even exists. the salmon new orleans is the bomb-diggity! we paid a visit to my grandparents from mom's side and my biological father's side. jen loved seeing them, especially my granny and papa who she'd never met. we had a nice dinner with them at applebee's and just spent the afternoon catching up and sharing memories, of course while making them at the same time. we'll look back very fondly at the time we just got to sit and hang out on the porch, everybody chatting and loving on each other. i looooooove my family.

pre-getaway: jen came bearing gifts on thursday! it's funny how the things we want slowly change over the years. it seemed like just about everything i wanted was a replacement-type present. i got a new blue shirt, identical in every way to my old (retired) blue shirt. i got a new hat, comfy and similar to my old (retired) hat. i got a new moleskine journal, an exact replica of my old (lost -sad-) journal, and to top things off jen got me a schnazzy new musicians notebook complete with tablature, staff lines, everything you would need to write out some sweet tunes. lucky! i love her. and i love my new notebook!

it was a mixed bag of emotions returning to the nest of so much joy, so much love, and yet so much hurt. i went through a lot of #$%! growing up for much of my childhood in panama city. i experienced divorce, family wounds, abuse, torture, humiliation, emasculation, so many things that would leave others an emotional, social, and mental trainwreck. hey, maybe in some ways i still do have some debris to clean up from the past. actually, i'm pretty sure i do after talking to jen about it on the trip back up here. but who doesn't have baggage? i know i have security and affirmation hidden in the arms of Christ, my all-surpassing joy and peace. that's all i have to fall back on, and it's all i need.

i have family that loves me in that neck of the redneck riviera. my grandparents, my aunts and uncles, my cousins; though all may have shortcomings, all are nice amiable southerners trying to make it in a van down by the river or something like that. i love em, though it's a little tough sometimes. i'm sure they love me too.

so that's the sum-up of my incrediby awesome birthday bash especial. it was very much so the best ever, even better than my surprise party when i turned 8. even better than getting my first bike. better than walking my little sister blindfolded through dog poop. just... better. after 12 years of dragging boredom and depressing over-sleep, i've finally been given a special day that felt like it really was a special day for me.

check it out - 01.20.07
vapor - 11.15.06
can't complain - 11.10.06
turn the page - 11.09.06
who invented the word "me-maw"? - 09.28.06

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